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JokeClix

Welcome!

Welcome to JokeClix - A Laugh for every click! We have thousands of great Jokes for your reading pleasure.
This site was formerly jokeclicks.com. Hopefully our readers will find their way back to us.

New weight loss pill?

Scientists have made a pill that tricks you into thinking your body is full.

Mark Zuckerberg's Ambition

Mark Zuckerberg has an ambition to read something new every two weeks.

Watching Fox News vs. MSNBC vs. CNN

Conan O'Brien reports that a new study has found that watching Fox News can make you more conservative and watching MSNBC can make you more liberal.

President Obama and Dick Cheney

''Dick Cheney was supposed to be here, but he is very busy working on his memoirs,

First lady Michelle Obama

During a recent Q & A with children, first lady Michelle Obama said that what she wants for Christmas is to sleep in late.

And God Created New England

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired, "Where have you been?"

The Recession

Subject: The Recession

The recession has hit everybody really hard...

My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Blonde Cookbook

BLONDE COOKBOOK
Monday
It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately.
The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.

Tuesday

License Plates

The state legislature in California is considering a bill that would allow electronic advertisements on license plates.

Sarah Palin - Minimal Problem

Sarah Palin surprised a lot of people by recently calling marijuana "a minimal problem in America." She also admitted that she herself has tried pot.

Obama about oil "spill"

President Obama gave a big speech last week about the oil spill.

Obama about oil "spill"

President Obama gave a big speech last week about the oil spill.

Mathematical Logic

Here is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic.

Chairman H
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:

Sex Frogs

A blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of live frogs.

The sign says: "SEX FROGS" Only $20 each!

Comes with 'complete' instructions.

The Oldest Hebrew Inscription

An Israeli archaeologist has found the oldest known Hebrew inscription on a 3,000 year old piece of pottery.
The inscription says, "So how come you never call on your mother any more?"

General Motors had some good news.

It says it's struggling to meet demand for its new 2010 Chevrolet Camaro.

GM said, "We're sorry, but both of you are going to have to wait a little longer."

Casual Fridays

A Cincinnati firefighter was arrested after he was found drunk wearing a woman's blond wig and bikini in a public park.

A consultant is a guy who...

knows how to make love a million different ways, but doesn't know any women!

Football and the Blonde

FOOTBALL AND THE BLONDE......

Out of all the blonde jokes, this one has to be the best!

Football FINALLY makes sense..........

Apples and Wine

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Sarah Palin's Vice Presidential Debate

John McCain watched the recent vice presidential debate between Sarah Palin and Joe Biden. He loved Sarah Palin's performance!

Summer Classes for Men

Summer Classes for Men

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1

Be careful what you wish for!

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared at their table saying,

Can you give me a push?

A man and his wife are fast asleep at 3 in the morning when the doorbell rings. Annoyed and grumbling, the man makes his way to the front door, expecting to rip somebody a new one.

100th Birthday

The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.

Caught Speeding

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.

Questions and Answers from an AARP Forum

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?

A: Try a bookstore... under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?

Blonde in Starbucks

A blonde goes into a coffee shop ...

Bullfrog Trick

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees.

Helen Keller driving

Q: Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver?

A: Because she was a woman!

Joke of the Day

C & W Song Titles!

The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles (Yes, Guys, these are REAL.)1) Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life 2) Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed 3) Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye 4) Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure 5) How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away? 6) How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life? 7) I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral 8) I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life 9) I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling 10) I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me 11) I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart. 12) I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You 13) I Wanna Whip Your Cow 14) I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck! 15) I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win 16) I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy 17) I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life 18) I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised 19) I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart 20) I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line 21) If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You 22) If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low 23) If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You 24) If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will 25) If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too? 26) Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head) 27) My Every Day Silver Is Plastic 28) My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus 29) My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart 30) My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him 31) Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You 32) Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill 33) She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft 34) She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger 35) She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart 36) She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty 37) Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone 38) They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out 39) Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart 40) When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In 41) You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too 42) You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd 43) You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat 44) You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life 45) You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

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